Procrastination

Originally published in the Scotsman.

I’ve been thinking a lot about procrastination lately. The past few weeks were full of deadlines I didn’t want to face, and I spent a lot of time trying to distract myself. It’s a strange, counter-productive habit – the closer I get to a deadline, the more I try to avoid thinking about it, until it’s impossible to ignore. Ultimately, panic gives me the necessary burst of adrenaline to overcome the inertia. So far (touch wood), I’ve never missed a deadline.

It’s not the healthiest way to work, but academia is famous for this kind of pattern. Nobody cares whether you put in a 40-hour, nine-to-five workweek, or you work 40 hours at a stretch without sleeping. What matters is that the work gets done, leaving a lot of space for bad habits to form.

But is procrastination really about laziness? In my experience, it seems to arise from both fear and denial. Deadlines are scary, and even scarier is the assessment that comes after. It’s never easy to be judged, especially if there’s a lot at stake. At the same time, it feels like there shouldn’t be any rush; I ought to be clever enough to do a good job at the last minute. Like the proverbial angel and demon, fear shouts warnings in one ear, while denial whispers comforting promises in the other.

Suddenly, it becomes very important to deal with the houseplants, read the latest news, take out the recycling. E-mail becomes urgent, online quizzes become fascinating, and Wikipedia becomes irresistible. My brain binges on easily-digestible mental junk food, or switches off completely with household chores.

Of course, the pressure of unfinished work builds, and fantasy kicks in. What if I had finished already? I would still be reading Wikipedia, but without the guilt! I promise myself that next time I’ll start earlier – but every time, the same process repeats.

Last week I realised that procrastination actually plays a positive role. I was trying to synthesise six months’ worth of reading without it coming across like a primary school book report, and I knew it was possible. But I could not see the connections. The more I worked on it, the more frustrated I became. It was impossible to stay focused for more than a few minutes at a time – I was writing one or two sentences, then back to the junk food.

I was nearly at my wits’ end when everything became clear – the connections were suddenly obvious, and the analysis suddenly made sense. Such euphoria! I ran a lap around the Meadows at 4:00 in the morning, I was so happy! Intellectual breakthroughs are just that – breaking through a suffocating cocoon of confusion. A crack opens up and all the tension is released in a joyful rush of clarity.

Afterwards, it became obvious that the urge to procrastinate was taking my mind off directly thinking about my project. But in the background, my brain was chewing away at the problem, figuring out a solution, if only I would leave it alone for awhile. Procrastination is a way to occupy the mind with something not too challenging, while the real work happens behind the scenes.

Making an “original contribution to knowledge” is like trying to see in the dark. Peripheral vision works best, and no amount of squinting or straining can change that. Look directly at something and it disappears. Procrastination is a way to glance away for long enough to really see.

No matter what work they’re doing, everyone procrastinates. Perhaps we should give a bit more appreciation to this important part of the intellectual process.